Matt, the chief marketing officer

Hey! I’m Matt. Virtual high-fives to anyone I haven’t yet met. It’s weird to be promoting an iconic building I haven’t yet visited but my wife Jules is in a vulnerable category so it’s safer for me to stay here in Provence.

Anyway, the team and I are super excited to give you a peek of the creative for our rebrand. We think you’re going to love it. 

Et voila!

I think you’ll recognise that we have done something truly radical here by blending Thrust’s purpose, mission, vision, values, brand, heritage, community, and KPIs into a single vibrant identity that showcases our DNA.

Our new logo — thrusT^ — is a lower case T rising to a dramatic capital, emphasised by the dangling circumflex, which expresses the genius and vision of Sir Harry Ziffer, Thrust architect and ultimate arbiter of my bonus this year, and his maxim “Upward!”

Combined with our new purpose statement — “Value the Vertical” (fruit of a year-long hackathon) — I think you’ll all agree this is a powerful call to action, aligned with our urgently revised strategy of attracting artists, poets, change agents and desperate freelancers to our home-from-home in the City. Our colour scheme is “heliotrope” — a shade of purple from the sun-loving bloom of the same name, which graces the Thrust’s SkyShrubbery. Our focus groups agreed that nothing says “hope” as insistently as this shade of purple.

We are backing this brand positioning with a £100m campaign that we think is the most disruptive yet seen in the space. As Sir Harry has so wisely declared, “If you’re not a disrupter, you’re a disruptee”. And what could be more disruptive in this era of relentless change than a massive piece of fast-depreciating city-centre real estate, built at the top of the market, standing half-dark and nearly empty, as global recessionary storm clouds gather? Well? That’s right — nothing!

So — do you love it? The shocked look on your faces tells me all I need to know!

Cressida, the superwoman

Before we wrap up today’s Zoom meeting — hold on a minute, does Jake know we can still see him? What is he doing? Can someone throw him out of the meeting, quick!

Thank God, John, you’ve saved us all from a rather unedifying spectacle.

Anyway, I just wanted to remind you of my memo at the start of the week. Rather than mandatory fun weekly drinks, I thought we could wrap up our morning Zoom meeting with a 10-minute chat about non-work lives — not too private, obviously! You don’t want to hear about my marital problems — hypothetical problems, of course.

Why don’t we start with Halloween? Anyone have Covid-safe ideas? No one?

OK, I’ll start. Well, Halloween is a highlight of the year. With six children things can get out of control! I don’t know what they put in those natural fruit drops and raw carob buttons but it certainly sends the kids wild. Halloween is an exception to our no-sweets rule — on Halloween Eve, I send one of the nannies down our street with sugar-free ‘sweets’ so our neighbours can hand them out to my kids instead of those sickly Haribos and fizzy colas. It’s my tip if you don’t want your kids eating rubbish.

This year, we’ve decided it’s more Covid-secure to give rather than receive. To that end, I’ve set my husband a project — creating a fruit chute so we can dispatch tangerines to trick-or-treaters from upstairs. The only contagion in our house will be high spirits!

For my own kids, I’ve got something rather special planned. This has been a difficult time for theatreland so I’m hiring three West End set designers to dress my London home as a horror house. Since we dismantled our award-winning illuminated NHS rainbow installation, the street has felt drab so this is the least we can do to inspire our less imaginative neighbours.

That’s enough about my plans, John, what will you be doing on Halloween? Can you hear me? Oh, I’ve been booted out.

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